Chucklin'...

I finally put up my Christmas tree. It’s beautiful this year, though some would cringe in horror…well, some DO cringe in horror. I, on the other hand, absolutely love it. Tacky elegance at its finest.

Most of you know this, but...for those of you who don't...I collect pink flamingoes. Mhmm…pink flamingoes. They are in my yard (yup, the tacky plastic yard birds, among others), in my house, and on the dashboard of my car. Some of the pieces I have are very elegant, beautifully crafted pieces of…dare I say it?…art. Some of them are tacky and cheesy. Fun stuff. One of my favorite pieces is a brightly colored print of a leather clad biker flamingo astride a Harley Davidson motorcycle. She was a gift…most of them have been gifts. Another one is a beautiful, hand-blown Murano glass piece from Italy. She’s very delicate, and quite lovely.

I do a couple of things with my flamingoes, one of which is to decorate a white Christmas tree with them, pink feather boas, pink glass ball ornaments, and a multi-colored flamingo tree skirt. It’s awesome this year…just grins. I usually leave it up until the day before Easter.

My Mother is mortified. This is the first time she’s actually seen my flamingo tree. Secretly? I think she loves it…my flamingo fascination. She gives me flamingo ‘stuff’ all the time…like the wonderfully tacky side table with a flamingo/pussy willow/bamboo foundation, and a glass table top that she gave me for my BirthDay this year. She finds the most unusual pieces.

Anyway…I still have to dress up the yard flamingoes. I do that to them. Dress them up. For Halloween they were dressed in a purple and black witches outfit, a red, and silver fairy costume…complete with wings, an orange Cat in the Hat hat with matching tie, and neon orange wig, and…hmm…what else? Eh…can’t remember at the moment. They have been dressed in grass skirts, and Hawaiian leis for a luau, and at Christmas…yup…Santa Mingo, and the reinmingoes. This year will be the first year for that. I’m stoked!!! I found a smallish…just the right size…white wicker sleigh at a yardsale over the summer, and will finally…YAYYYY!!!…add that final piece to my Christmas scene. I’m thinking the flamingo perched in the tree (he lost his wire legs due to an unfortunate accident, so he’s wired into the crook of the crabapple tree in my front yard) will be dressed as an elf this year…or…something.

The first time I did this…hmmm…about 8 years ago…T (about 15 at the time) was…well…stunned. He came inside shaking his head, and simply said, “Now I know you’re on crack.” I wasn’t…am not. I think he wonders sometimes why I’m not like other mothers.

Really? I started this collection when I was in college…about 20 years ago, and it’s grown…boy has it grown. They make me smile. Dressing them up makes me laugh, and smile some more. The expressions on people’s faces when they see them? Priceless. My neighbors? Well…let’s just say that they adjust to my eccentricities. Like the ceramic white porcelain naked woman on my front steps…who…for some reason…had a rope noose around her neck for awhile. I think Meggie did that…not sure really.

I’m considering a toilet planter for the front yard this Spring. I’ve the perfect spot for it. Of course, I’ll have to find just the right flamingo to perch on the tank.

I live in a very old neighborhood. Kind of stuffy…upper-middle class. It’s the neighborhood/area where I grew up. Safe. Comfortable. Near the park…so the girls (aka my two dogs) and I take regular walks down by the duck pond…drives Missy NUTS because she wants to chase them. Anyway…it’s kind of fun tweaking the conservatives in the neighborhood, along with the fun of decorating my yard. The chuckles and grins elicited are the icing.

I think I’ll finish putting out my Xmas decorations today.

That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it.