...snow walks this morning.
It's been snowing off and on since late Saturday night/early Sunday morning. It's a wet snow. There was an inch or two on the ground yesterday morning, but it melted to make mud puddles in the backyard by afternoon. It kept spitting that wet snow, and rain all day yesterday.
I woke up this morning to an inch or so on the ground again. It continues to snow...little wispy flurries that blow gently in the wind. Smaller flakes that the wind catches easily.
Do you remember our late night snow walks? Getting bundled up warmly to go for those late walks in the snow when it would give us a deep one?
You and Sunshine felt like you were doing something special...we were...you know...getting to stay up late for one...being outside at 10-11 at night for a walk...the quiet would always silence your exuberance for a moment as you both appreciated it for a magical moment...your playful abandon was filled with joy, and laughter. Laughs...snowballs flew...little rolls in the snow, but the laughter, and joy from the two of you always makes me smile when I remember such times. Oh...your antics were fun...funny...fond memories, but the laughter...the joy...the abandon to just being a child...were the things that warmed my heart.
We didn't have much money when you kids were younger, so I always sought those moments for you. But it was more than that really. I wanted to create cherished memories for you, and Suni...for me, and your Dad. Memories that we would all look back upon, and enjoy a laugh, or the warmth of those moments shared between us.
I have so few memories myself...from my childhood...fond, fun memories. It was one of the things, as a mother, that I wanted to create differently for you, and Sunshine. I enjoyed them, as much, or more than the two of you, but for far different reasons. I recognized the importance of having those memories...the warmth they would give in a richly lived life.
I also enjoyed...just watching the joyfulness of you, and Suni enjoying the moment. It was one of those rare opportunities for me to simply be...then, and there...to smile...laugh...and feel that my life was complete...in that one moment. To put the ugliness aside. No fear. No pain. No sadness, or grief. Just love, peace, joy, and contentment. I have few enough of those moments, as well. I found many...most of them with you kids...with the GrandBabies.
But...happy memories are important because we have a tendency to block, forget those moments when there are difficulties present in life. I'm grateful this morning that I have that memory to fill my heart.
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2 comments:
I remember a time, in the snow, when as a family we created an iglooish house. It was made of snow, and we used water to freeze it. I remember drinking hot chocolate in it, as well as my favorite animal crackers from mount hippie! LMAO, my what the mind remembers. I have so few memories from my childhood, not that there are few god ones, just that I don't have a great long term memory, feels as if I lose a year form the past each year I get older, yanno? Anyway, I love you mom, and am glad you have these memories, they make life special, worthwhile, and meaningful. I love you and hope we can get over this little hiccup.
hi... i miss you.
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